The first time
Before I begin, lets define sobriety. For my lifestyle, it means cutting out tobacco, alcohol, and weed. I'm not quite ready to eliminate caffiene just yet.
Anyways, the last time I did a sober month was back in September 2020...5 years ago!!! Damn, its crazy to realize that 5 years ago doesnt even take me back into college days. Lets move past that for the moment.
That first month sober was really transformative for me. Less so due to resetting my reliance on stimulants which I dont have a problem with in the first place, but more related to how it helped me overcome my situation at the time and how that boosted my confidence into the future.
I had just moved into my first "adult" apartment in Somerville (s/o danny) and had also just been ejected out of my first "real" relationship. I decided that the only logical thing to do was to remove all possibilities for numbing/avoiding the pain by going sober, and force myself through the void to the other side.
To my surprise, that strategy totally worked. Although I had to go through some of the most intense, negative emotional experience of my life at the beginning, the feeling of clarity, calmness, and peace it gave me to know that I was experiencing everything with clear eyes/mind helped me find more strength in my thoughts and instincts. It also provided a huge energy boost, which paradoxically happens whenever you remove external sources of energy from your diet.
This time
These days I find myself in a very different situation than the first time I went sober. I'm living with a partner in a loving/trusting relationship. We are both experiencing many new things in our personal lives – socially, creatively, intellectually – and so I think the motivation for the month off comes from leaning into the "newness" that we are already experiencing with a hunch that peeling back some of the "distractions" around the edges could offer even more insight, energy, and appreciation for all the things going on around us.
At the very least, its a nice test of mental/physical fortitude which is always healthy for self-confidence if you can make it through it, as well as a fun energy boost that I surely don't need due to my always-on inner clock but hey, im not the one who has to deal with any increase in my insufferability, thats on yall.
Im sure it will be relatively uneventuful but will check back in if new insights appear that seem to be related from the vibe shift this month. With that, ill leave yall with some pics from my camera roll from September 2020 :)
