I am slowly but surely losing myself again. It’s weird this feeling I have been feeling recently, it’s not emptiness, it’s not fear or anger, nor is it sadness. I just feel lost I haven’t felt this way in a long time. I do not know what it is that’s making me feel this way, maybe it’s simply because I am entering new phases of life, but then again I never know why I feel that loss. 

There was a time where I really felt lost, I felt loss with connections, I felt loss with myself, I felt loss with the things I loved doing. I had no clue then why I felt lost, I still do not know why. If I only I knew the answer. I am losing my friends even new ones. With losing I don’t mean our friendship being over, no not at all it just does not feel the same way. I feel their presence less it’s as if I am being forgotten by them. It sounds really weird to write it out but that’s how a part of me feels. I still sit reminisce over memories with those I love. I truly wonder if they feel the same way, maybe I am overthinking as I always do. But I just feel this weird shift I can’t put a name to. 

I have truly  tried to find the answer to why I feel this way -  I cannot find it, I have sat with my thoughts and emotions but nothing. It’s all in place. My life is good I am really grateful but something, just feels off. 

Maybe it is like I said that I am going through a change but it’s such a weird feeling.