There's something funny in my tummy and it ain't what I ate.

It's in the air. Heavy. You feel it too, right? You can hardly miss it. I don't care if I sound crazy; my instincts are on high alert. I don't know what it is, but I can't shake the feeling of impending doom. The anticipation is killing me. Something's about to go down, or at least that's what it feels like. This sick feeling at the pit of my stomach--Paranoia? Or dread perhaps? Whatever it is, I want it to stop. It's like teetering off the edge of a cliff-- better yet-- walking a tightrope. Try as you may to maintain balance, one little misstep, and you're down. The world feels one misstep away from descending into chaos.

Sigh

Maybe I am crazy.

I mean, with everything that's been going on lately, who wouldn't go insane? Yes, I'm aware that bad things have and will happen all the time, every day. That's just an unfortunate fact of life. When one part of the world thrives, the other suffers. I understand that. Yet, for some reason, things feel different. It's been feeling different since lockdown. Naturally, I assumed that it was the result of being trapped in our homes away from loved ones—people who never got to see, much less hug, some of their loved ones ever again. So much and so many were lost in the span of that time. Many suffered. And while I still believe that to be true, I also believe in another truth.

That.. Perhaps it isn't the world that's different, but I'm only now seeing it for what it always was. The world didn't change; the veil just lifted.

I realized that things were always going to turn out this way; if anything, the pandemic kinda sped things up. Up until that moment, I lived in ignorance. Covered, secured beneath the veil. The veil was my safety net-- my safe space. Now, I have to face reality. That sinking, dreaded feeling that will never go away. Accepting the fact that:

"It's only going to get worse before it gets better."

Has the veil been lifted? Or am I just paranoid?